Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Real not Rocks

I didn't breast feed. My kids take antibiotics and all have of their immunizations. I am the first in line for a flu shot. My oldest have TVs in their rooms and iPhone 6's in their backpacks. We eat fast food at least 3 times a week, and I rarely make anything resembling a dinner. I don't buy organic anything. Sometimes we have ice cream for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I let my older kids ride shot gun most of the time. My kids say very bad words at times, which I am sure they learned from my wicked lips. I used disposable diapers and scented wipes without a warmer. My three year old watches "Peppa Pig" for hours in the evening while I attempt to help my not so willing children with their homework. I work a full time job and am a horrible housekeeper. 

Go ahead now and unsubscribe to this blog........or like in Biblical times you could throw (virtual) rocks at me....(I am now ducking behind my screen).......ouch good throw......

I am a mom. Many of you reading this are moms too. AWESOME, capable, tired, overwhelmed, ashamed, superhero status, personal assistants, lonely, hilarious, afraid, and absolutely cherished by your Father in heaven. MOMS! Why do we judge one another? We are all in the same boat, sailing toward the land of bedtime on a rocky sea. I strongly believe that too many of us strap on the life vests alone......we drink in the bitter shame soda, and hide our fears behind sweet smiles, "I'm fine how are you?" becomes our pirate song. Listen, if you are still reading this I want you to know that my heart bleeds for moms. I long for moms to be real with each other and encourage one another instead of judging and throwing painful, heart shattering rocks. This journey is long and labor doesn't end in the delivery room my friends. We need each other....we need laughter, tears, encouragement, prayer, listening ears, wine (yes wine), and a shoulder to lean on. 

When I have shared my real struggles of motherhood, I have found that I release others to share their stories. Stories of loneliness, frustration, joys, heartache, spankings gone wrong, potty training nightmares and hilarious poop- all-over -the- wall stories. When I am real with my friends about my struggles, they are real back with their advice....and most of the time we end up even more baffled about what to do TOGETHER, and that's exactly what I need. I don't need a judge.....I've already given myself the guilty sentence all day long. Motherhood is incredibly selfless, hard, and heartbreaking. Motherhood is incredibly amazing, joyful, hilarious and miraculous. At the end of the day if my kids have understood what it is to love God and love others then I am the mom I want to be. That's the goal for our kids right? I used to think that a college scholarship was the goal, or just getting through the week without booking a one way ticket to "I can't do this anymore I suck at being a mom" was the goal......but I've learned in my 10 years of this full time gig, that the goal is that they are little people who love God and love others. And I give God all the credit and glory as I've seen my kiddos start to live out this goal in their little lives; in their classrooms, on the soccer field and in my sweet P's prayers at the end of the day. I am humbled at times that I am their mom.

I am not a parenting expert. My husband laughs at the endless Amazon envelopes that arrive in the mail with "another parenting book!". When I am frustrated with one of our children he always says, "Don't you read those books you order,.... isn't there something for this in those (23 books) you've read?!?" Nope, nothing......but thanks for trying husband. 

I do have friends who have adult children and teenage children....they are lighthouses on my rocky sea for sure. They have traveled these waters before me and I appreciate their stories and advice greatly. I recommend getting yourselves some of these seasoned women in your life. I have many friends with toddlers and newborns...and let me tell you sister, you need to be encouraging those new moms like crazy. They need to know that you went through it and survived, they need prayer, they need you to come be part of their "crazy"........THEY NEED YOU! I also have friends in the same stage of parenting I am......we are doing it together, we are all tired and confused and rejoicing that everyone above the age of 7 can get ready for school by themselves........and I am eternally grateful. 

Find people who are going to be real with you, and not judge you. You don't have time for the latter. You need co-pilots and you need REAL not ROCKS.

I'll leave you with a challenge: Next time you see a mom in the check out aisle at Target with a screaming baby or toddler or 6 year old (oh yes, they still throw tantrums).....get behind her in line and tell her she's doing a great job. Help her to the car as she carries the violent toddler trying to rip her face off and bend his back in the wrong direction so she can't hold her.  I have done this challenge personally and have wished someone had done it for me endless times. I have left many a full cart in the aisles of Target to escape the shame of my howling child. 

Ready set go......(and in case you are counting down, bedtime is only 8 more glorious hours away!)

Keep your love for one another at full strength, because love covers a multitude of sins. -1 Peter 4:8


  1. I love to hear "your voice" and I'm so glad you're bringing it to this blog. I think it's so WEIRD how our first inclination is always to throw rocks at our fellow moms. It's that yucky sin scramble to think we're better than someone else...ugh. Jesus, please help us change that first inclination from rocks to real.

  2. Wisdom, truth and prospective this was a great post!