Friday, September 30, 2016

Steps that lead us back to God

I am surprised I am writing in a blog…. I never thought I would be a blog writer, never thought anyone would care to listen to my babbling.  We all have stories in our life, all seasons of joy, pain, sorrow, loss, growth…why would anyone care to read mine, when they are busy with their own lives, living out their stories? Time is a precious gift, and we all need to take the quiet moments to do what fills us up….if this is boring you , then stop…go watch tv, go for a walk, or pick up His Word! I can guarantee His Word will be more fruitful than mine. I am flawed, and making my way through this journey of life, just like you.

God will lead, but we need to listen, and walk through the steps

Do you feel stuck? Feel as though the valley is too deep, the tunnel is too long. We have all heard the saying “There is a light at the end of the tunnel”. However, you have been in the tunnel for a long time and don’t think the light is there…or you see the glimmer, but don’t know how to get there? We have all been there at one point, or will be there at some point… embrace that season in your life, it’s where we grow the most.  

Let me take you back about 2 years ago. I was at a lovely Christmas party with girlfriends. We were doing our annual cookie exchange. The laughter was bustling, the cookies flowing, and the gift exchange had just started…I was in my happy place! Then the bomb dropped. The semi perfect world I had wanted my world to be, just flipped upside down. I got a call from my husband. Our oldest had just been caught with weed in his backpack at school. We were shocked. My oldest of course had some crazy story that it wasn’t his, he was holding onto it for a friend. Yes J, we are idiots, please lie to us more. Oh goodness. We went home and did our best…uncharted waters here… We did a family meeting, yelled until we could barely have a voice, cried until we were all dried up , oh then back to yelling, family meeting, took all his privileges ( including his bedroom door, privacy is a privilege) We went nuts. Reflecting, we reacted. Learning over the past two years…hitting the pause button is important! In the moment, when the rug gets swept out from under you and you feel lost, confused and devastated when we react we can cause more damage to recover.

Our home was not a place of peace and refuge. Our home had become a battle ground. As time went on our oldest continued down the path of a wayward teen. We fought hard to keep him away from outside influences that were pulling him down. It didn’t matter though, during the day he was skipping school and at night sneaking out his window. We felt powerless as parents. How did we lose all the control? How is it that we raised him to have good values, boundaries, and a loving home and yet he chose to do things that broke our hearts and risked his life? I started to do out landish things …I once brought him to the police high as kite, and asked them what do I do with him? To my surprise, they didn’t have any answers to help. They tried to get in his face and scare him a bit, but it didn’t work. It only made him feel more powerful. One night while driving home, he was high and said “I can do anything when I’m high”. I was so fed up with his behavior and blatant disrespect. I stopped my car kicked him out, and said run home. It was a 6 mile run, I drove next to him the whole time with my flashers on making certain he ran all the way home. I did get pulled over by the police. I explained the situation, the officer said well done and we continued on the long stretch home. My oldest had pushed me to the breaking point. Then there was the tipping point. I got a call from the police that my son had shop lifted alcohol from the local grocery store. WHAT is Happening??

We felt stuck. The valley had been long. The tunnel dim. Where was the light? We were praying, but no answers yet. I took him to counseling, a psychiatrist, confronted the friends he was hanging around, approached the school on not allowing him to leave campus, drug tested him (to which he would fake the pee test, and give me someone else’s pee to test?? We were living in crazy town...these teens are crafty be careful)   It was not until I got on my knees broken, I surrendered my will, my son to Our Creator. God honored my broken, shattered heart. He started opening doors. Someone I barely knew said “you need to save your son’s life before he is 18”. He gave me ideas on therapeutic boys homes, where young men that are struggling can go get straightened out, away from their everyday influences. I researched a school Liahona, in Utah. I instantly felt a connection with this school. My husband felt the same way, and was on board. We financially could not afford the school, but God made a way. All the doors were opening, we couldn’t deny all the ways we could see God answering our prayers. Were we going to listen to His tugging and clear answers? It required us to Take Action, it required us to make the steps to get out of the Tunnel…to start making movement towards the light. We did make the steps, we did walk the hard road, our son did leave for 9 ½ months to a state 4 states away. It was hard. Many nights we cried, many aching moments. We are so proud to say that our oldest is well. He is not the same kid he once was, he has been humbled, and grew so much at Liahona. We will forever be grateful to the place that grew our son up.

Steps to get out of the long dark tunnel are hard, and requires us to be brave, and walk in the peace that we know God is working out His plan and we are part of that plan by Moving where we need to move. I would encourage you today, if God is calling you to take steps, listen to what He is asking. He will make it clear. With being in His Word, and a surrendered heart seeking His Truths, I believe You will get out of the tunnel and into the Light.

Psalm 123
“I look to you Heaven Dwelling God, look up to you for help. Like servants alert to their master’s commands, like a maiden attending to her lady, We’re watching and waiting, holding our breath, awaiting your word of mercy. Mercy, God, Mercy! “

If you have a teen that needs Help, here is the school that reached my son.

1 comment:

  1. Transparency is a beautiful thing. Thanks for sharing the struggles and the victories.