This time this awful disease is taking my friend Sheri. Sheri has made me laugh until I cry all of my mascara and eyeliner to oblivion. She has listened to me and been there through some hard,scary times. She was my buddy at work that I would email from across the room, and then we would make eye contact and giggle. She was my sushi buddy, my morning coffee walk, my surprise friendship after years of not really liking each other from a far. She was the one that made leaving my old job so hard that I couldn't speak as she walked me out to my car one last time. Tonight she's almost gone from this earth and I'm mad, and sad and racked with guilt that as my new job has taken me on a new journey, it has taken me away from walking closely with her through these last months. I have been looking through our texts from this last year and although we stayed in touch and "I love yous" were shared, I just feel robbed from more time knowing she's still in the fight. Loss sucks. Her kids are robbed, her friends, her family, and this earth. This is heartbreaking.....she's so young, so beautiful, so full of laughter and craziness.....She's a mom, a girlfriend, a friend, a daughter.....she's not much older than me. She's leaving, and my hope is that we will hit every sushi buffet in heaven and laugh together again and it will seem as no time has passed at all.
Loss was never in God's original plan. That is why it hurts so bad when we lose someone, and why our hearts can't ever fully heal. We are on the other side of heaven. Tears still easily arrive at every mention of my dad, 26 years since I lost him. Every time I have graduated, every time a niece or nephew was born, my wedding, my pregnancies, watching my kids grow up without him.......It hurts like hell. I never have known what it is like to have a Dad as a teenager or adult. I watch my friends with their dads now in this stage of life and it's still as magical and special as I remember it. I watch my husband with my daughter and I am jealous that the person who loved me THAT much is no longer here. LOSS SUCKS. Loss hurts to the depth of our souls.
It hurt God to the depths of His heart to lose us. It hurt Him so much that He sent His only Son to make a way to never have to lose us again. We have a way to be with Him and those we love for eternity. We just have to wait here on earth, and like I said in my last post, waiting is a hard road to travel. We will have no pain and no tears and no loss in heaven. Eternal relationship with God and others. Our loved ones are off the waiting path and on to eternal glory and hanging out with Jesus. Amazing grace. Revelation 21:4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Lessons from Loss: Loss brings us closer to Jesus and I have had the amazing and gracious blessing of having a heavenly Father step in during the hardest times of missing my earthly one. Loss brings us closer to others as we cherish and are more appreciative of those who are in our lives. Loss makes us empathetic and compassionate people who really "know" what someone else is going through when they experience loss. Today I was talking to one of my treasured new co-workers who lost her mom not even a year ago and even though our great loss of a parent are 26 years a part, we could share with each other on a different level. I do know the deep pain she is feeling and although grief changes and you do heal partially, you need those people in your life who can really understand. LOSS SUCKS.
I will deeply miss Sheri,and I am praying that I will see her again and that she has the peace of Jesus and He is with her tonight and for eternity...... and until then I will be thankful for the years she touched my life with laughter, and friendship, the way she touched and changed students lives, and our shared love of good food, being silly, Fireball drinks that we invented on the weekends and then shared recipes..... (yep) and crushing on Adam Levine.
Scripture breathes hope and I'm thankful we can trust it fully.