Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Loss sucks!

Loss sucks. Seriously sucks. Is that a bad word in your house like it is in mine...? Both "loss" and "sucks" are bad words. Currently I am losing a friend to stupid, awful, bad word CANCER (melanoma) and it sucks. I have lost so many friends to CANCER in the last few years it's almost an epidemic in my heart.  I've had friends lose a child, friends lose a parent, friends and students die too young and in the prime of life, beloved aunties and moms and grandmas. Loss is always earlier than we want no matter what.

This time this awful disease is taking my friend Sheri. Sheri has made me laugh until I cry all of my mascara and eyeliner to oblivion. She has listened to me and been there through some hard,scary times. She was my buddy at work that I would email from across the room, and then we would make eye contact and giggle. She was my sushi buddy, my morning coffee walk, my surprise friendship after years of not really liking each other from a far. She was the one that made leaving my old job so hard that I couldn't speak as she walked me out to my car one last time. Tonight she's almost gone from this earth and I'm mad, and sad and racked with guilt that as my new job has taken me on a new journey, it has taken me away from walking closely with her through these last months. I have been looking through our texts from this last year and although we stayed in touch and "I love yous" were shared, I just feel robbed from more time knowing she's still in the fight. Loss sucks. Her kids are robbed, her friends, her family, and this earth. This is heartbreaking.....she's so young, so beautiful, so full of laughter and craziness.....She's a mom, a girlfriend, a friend, a daughter.....she's not much older than me. She's leaving, and my hope is that we will hit every sushi buffet in heaven and laugh together again and it will seem as no time has passed at all.

 Loss was never in God's original plan. That is why it hurts so bad when we lose someone, and why our hearts can't ever fully heal. We are on the other side of heaven. Tears still easily arrive at every mention of my dad, 26 years since I lost him. Every time I have graduated, every time a niece or nephew was born, my wedding, my pregnancies, watching my kids grow up without him.......It hurts like hell. I never have known what it is like to have a Dad as a teenager or adult. I watch my friends with their dads now in this stage of life and it's still as magical and special as I remember it. I watch my husband with my daughter and I am jealous that the person who loved me THAT much is no longer here. LOSS SUCKS. Loss hurts to the depth of our souls.

It hurt God to the depths of His heart to lose us. It hurt Him so much that He sent His only Son to make a way to never have to lose us again. We have a way to be with Him and those we love for eternity. We just have to wait here on earth, and like I said in my last post, waiting is a hard road to travel. We will have no pain and no tears and no loss in heaven. Eternal relationship with God and others. Our loved ones are off the waiting path and on to eternal glory and hanging out with Jesus. Amazing grace. Revelation 21:4  ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” 

Lessons from Loss:  Loss brings us closer to Jesus and I have had the amazing and gracious blessing of having a heavenly Father step in during the hardest times of missing my earthly one. Loss brings us closer to others as we cherish and are more appreciative of those who are in our lives. Loss makes us empathetic and compassionate people who really "know" what someone else is going through when they experience loss. Today I was talking to one of my treasured new co-workers who lost her mom not even a year ago and even though our great loss of a parent are 26 years a part, we could share with each other on a different level. I do know the deep pain she is feeling and although grief changes and you do heal partially, you need those people in your life who can really understand. LOSS SUCKS.

I will deeply miss Sheri,and I am praying that I will see her again and that she has the peace of Jesus and He is with her tonight and for eternity...... and until then I will be thankful for the years she touched my life with laughter, and friendship, the way she touched and changed students lives, and our shared love of good food, being silly, Fireball drinks that we invented on the weekends and then shared recipes..... (yep) and crushing on Adam Levine.

Scripture breathes hope and I'm thankful we can trust it fully.

Matthew 5:4  “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
2 Corinthians 1:3-4  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
Isaiah 41:10  “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 43:2  “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
Psalm 18:28  “You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.”
Psalm 46:1-2  “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.”
Psalm 119:50  “My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”
Romans 8:18  “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”
2 Corinthians 7:10  “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”
Psalm 18:2  “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18  “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.  According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.  For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.  Therefore encourage one another with these words.”
1 Peter 5:6-7  “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
Psalm 23:4  “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
Psalm 73:26  “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”


  1. You would think it would be easier when you know the life that is waiting for us in eternity...but it doesn't. How human of us. But beautiful things come from our human stumbling towards understanding things eternal...beautiful things like your words. Thank you for sharing, sweet friend. Praying for Sheri and her family tonight.

  2. Thank you, friend! Wonderfully said. Praying for Sheri and her family. Love you GREATLY!

  3. Thank you, friend! Wonderfully said. Praying for Sheri and her family. Love you GREATLY!

  4. Loss is never easy to process, yet we find comfort in the fact that God has every detail. Thinking of you!!